Sveiki!

Devo about Brexit. Srsly, what’s the world coming to?

Seriousimo and I have long laid plans to retire to Ye Olde Europa. The maroon passports were supposed to make that a cinch. Our recent visit to Dutchieland reinforced the need for self-care now to ensure arthritic knees will be able to push pedals over cobbles come the end of our working lives.

However, Brexit’s shoved a stick in the spokes of that plan. Action needs to be taken to avoid toppling gracelessly over the handlebars of life.

Cue this:

Yup. Needs must people, needs must.

Seriousimo and I are making plans to hark back to his Lithuanian heritage and seek citizenship of Lietuvos Respublika, or the Republic of Lithuania, from the loins of which sprang Seriousimo’s beloved Mamma Seriousimo.

Thanks to Lithuania’s membership of the EU and European rights of residence, no ignorant English racists will be getting between a 60-year-old Triv and my daily serve of poffertjes in Dam Square, nor will they stop me sinking my face into a wheel of vacherin in my Parisien bolthole while bathing in champagne.

However — it’s about the fashion. Yikes! La’m not sure where Céline would fit into this sartorial picture.

Here’s Seriousimo and I in a few years time, taking a turn about the village folk fair dance floor:

At least the national costume of his forebears features a hat to keep his noggin warm. The brim at the back may present challenges when he goes to wear it to bed, though.

And here we are exchanging a loving look after a fortifying meal of cepelinai and a bracing mountain stroll. Clock Seriousimo’s footwear — love the nod to gladiatoral lacing.

Seriousimo could call on his old piccolo-playing skills to serenade La in the village square, after I’ve fetched a pail of water and he’s been shopping for some new burlap dacks:

How will the Junior Cost Centres (JCCs) fare in the garb of their ancestral homeland?

Great! No jeggings and hoodies here, my friends!  The little lady loin fruit will love the accessorisation opportunities presented by headdresses, and the wee bloke will get right into the multicoloured waist sashes and floral hat corsages.

Oops, making fun of people from other countries makes me sound like a Brexiteer. Which, clearly, La’m NOT.

Sh*t. Time for another plan B..?